he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
