ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize