piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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