giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
