Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize