You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
