uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
