He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
