Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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