he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it was like his penis was on wheels.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
