he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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