On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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