I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
