So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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