I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
