Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
