Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
