Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize