I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
