You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
