did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
