This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
