so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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