One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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