Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
