Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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