btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
