Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
