I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
