nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
