There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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