Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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