DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
