I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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