I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
