After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
