We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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