I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
