When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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