Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
