Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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