After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am one with the molecules
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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