All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
