just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
