i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Barsexuality is the new black.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
