I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
