can u get pink eye on your cock?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
