She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
