I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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