if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
