Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
