it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
