He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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