Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
