If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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