he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize