haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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