he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
