Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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