just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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