Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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