we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
how drunk are you?
Several
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
