Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
